It’s valuable to have a space that’s just for me. A place where I can step out of my role as a therapist and feel emotionally held and supported by someone else. I’d had a break from therapy for a while and have recently started again, this time with a new therapist. His approach is psychodynamic and also draws on nondual therapy, which is very different from my own background in CBT. Finding him was interesting. I had an idea of what I wanted, but no idea who might resonate

What if? For many people, those two words are where the struggle begins. What if I harmed someone? What if I don't really love my partner? What if I've been lying to myself? What if that memory means something terrible? What if I'm capable of something I would never want to do? The content of the question may vary, but the experience is often remarkably similar. A thought appears, seemingly out of nowhere, and becomes impossible to ignore. It feels urgent, important and deepl

Sometimes I know I’m uncomfortable before I know why. In my mind, everything seems fine, yet I notice my shoulders tightening. Im recall a momnet where i was considering an opportunity that made sense on paper, but each time I imagine accepting it, I felt heavy and drained. The feeling arrives first. The explanation takes longer. We often approach decisions by thinking harder: making lists, asking for advice, looking for the choice we can justify. I’m learning to pay attenti

A gut feeling arrives way before you have words for it. Your heart rate elevates, theres a sinking feeling in your stomach. You've noticed that the your colleagues smile seems strained. Their tone has changed. A message is shorter than usual. Something registers, even though you can’t yet say what it means. I’m particularly interested in the social side of gut feelings. We pay close attention to other people because it matters whether we feel safe, welcome or at risk of rejec

Have you ever noticed a familiar discomfort showing up again and again? Maybe it’s feeling undervalued at work? a friendship that feels inconsistent, a relationship that feels confusing or exhausting. Maybe it’s the internal voice that always tells you you’re not doing enough? You might find yourself thinking, “Why does this keep happening to me?”It can feel like you’re running in circles, repeating the same story no matter how hard you try to change. What if those recurring

The Wheel of Emotions Tool Most of us use a limited emotional vocabulary. We rely on broad words like, I feel "stressed", "anxious", "down", "sad or "fine", even though our inner world is much more textured. Emotions rarely come as single notes. They are layered, shifting, sometimes contradictory. Understanding those layers matters, because when we misname our experiences, we limit our awareness and understanding of whats happening internally. A tool I use often with clients

No two people experience life the same way, so why should therapy be one-size-fits-all? Over the years, I’ve learned that the most meaningful change happens when we draw from different approaches rather than sticking rigidly to one model. That’s why I work integratively, blending Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) , Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) , Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) , and Narrative Therapy . Each of these approaches brings something valuable to the ta

Inspired by an article by the Greater Good Science Center So many of us are living in a default mode of stress. We’re constantly strategising, scanning for danger, and bracing for what might go wrong. Whether it’s anxiety about work, relationships, money, or just the future in general, our minds are often locked into survival mode, churning through to-do lists and worst-case scenarios on autopilot. Sound familiar? It’s no wonder we’re exhausted. We’re not just reacting to lif

I've had a few clients ask me about whether there is any validity to the concept of manifestation. The idea seems to have gained a lot of popularity in recent years. Perhaps propelled by social media. This article considers whether there is any advantage to the practice and how it might overlap with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Manifestation refers to the process of consciously directing thoughts, emotions and intentions toward a desired outcome, with the belief that this

The way we describe pain and think about it can profoundly affect our experience of it. Pain is not just a physical sensation but also an emotional and psychological experience. Language plays a crucial role in how we process and perceive pain, influencing not only how we communicate our discomfort but also how we feel it. Understanding the interplay between words and pain can help individuals manage their pain more effectively, particularly through techniques like Cognitive

Chronic pain can be a challenging experience, often made worse by a mental habit called catastrophising. This is when someone imagines the worst possible outcomes, believing their pain will never improve or will become unbearable. Research shows that catastrophising not only increases the intensity of pain but also prolongs suffering, making daily activities and overall life harder to manage. How Catastrophising Affects Pain Catastrophising isn’t just a mindset, it has real p

I shared some thoughts on friendship inbalances with Stylist Magazine: www.stylist.co.uk/relationships/family-friends/effort-imbalance-m...